Grocery Store Wars

At the Super Foods grocery store, the employees unloaded the latest delivery. It took the staff all day to get everything out on the floor. By the time they went home, they were all sore and exhausted…so exhausted that, if they had seen what happened once they were gone, they might have lost their minds.

Even a well-rested person would have had difficulty seeing various grocery items come to life. This has been happening for quite some time.

Many years ago, a fruit by the name of Pines (a pineapple) became leader. Pines was fair and wise. As a result, all the food in the store followed him, and life was good.

However, this last delivery of groceries saw the arrival of a box of cereal known as Cereal Cousin, who did not agree with Pines. Up until now, Pines had been the one who dictated what food went on what shelf. Cereal Cousin was having none of that.

“Why should HE be the one who gets to say where we go?” Cereal Cousin shouted. “I think we should all take turns on a rotating basis. Everyone should have a shot at the Bull’s Eye Zone!”

“Bull’s Eye Zone” was the nickname the foods had given to the second and third shelves from the top. Any food on those shelves saw the most sales.

The other area of interest was the Kids’ Eye-Level shelves. That was the area where Cereal Cousin wanted the junk foods to go. For them, that was the sweet spot, but Pines would not allow it.

“Children need to be healthy,” Pines said. “How will they do that if all they see are snack foods and things like that?”

Cereal Cousin was furious. He went around the store, riling up his fellow junk food items. The cereal knew just what to say to get inside their heads, to make them just as mad and to turn them against Pines. Within a matter of hours, Sugar had created a divide that spread throughout the store.

The healthy foods remained under the leadership of Pines; they called themselves the Hoods. Pines’ top officers were Adam (an apple), Li (a head of broccoli), Butter (a jar of peanut butter), and the Twins (a pair of juice boxes).

All the junk food aligned with Cereal Cousin, and they were known as the Doods. Cereal Cousin’s main partners were Kook (a chocolate chip cookie), Bar (a candy bar), Salty (a bag of chips), and Cakes (a cupcake with vanilla frosting).

The two rival factions met on the middle shelf. There were no words or attempts at any last-minute peace talks; instead the food just went at it.

Li swung the top of his stalk at Cakes and knocked him off the shelf; he landed upside down on the floor, frosting splattering everywhere. The Twins squeezed each other and sprayed juice in the eyes of both Bar and Cookie. When their enemies were blinded, they kicked them off the shelf.

Apple knocked Chips on his back and then pounced up and down on him; the CRUNCH-CRUNCH-CRUNCH of Chips’ body made the other foods cringe. Last but not least, Pines took on the Doods’ leader, tipping over on his side and rolling toward Cereal Cousin. With no place to go, Cereal was knocked off the shelf.

With their victory secure, the Hoods took their rightful place in the Bull’s Eye Zone and on the Kids’ Eye-Level Shelf. Cereal Cousin and the rest of the Doods were forced to go to the top and bottom shelves, where their sales dropped by 60 per cent.